Bard's Tale Review

Below is a letter I recently sent to the programmers of "The Bard's Tale":

To the developers of "The Bard's Tale",

I wanted to write and extend my supreme compliments for the craftmanship and feature-set of this game. A few features in particular leave me breathless in wonderment and I felt it was necessary to draw them to your attention for future marketing of the game. For example, despite having spent over $3000 on my newest computer system which far exceeds the stated requirements of the game, the game still runs at a sometimes snailish pace. This has produced the happy benefit of being able to point to the game and justify a new computer upgrade to my wife. I can only surmise you had this goal in mind in obviously understating the recommended system configuration.

However, the benefits do not stop there. By turning the graphics settings to their lowest levels, I am able to play the game in slow motion in exactly those moments when the action may become too fast for me to follow adequately. This is especially dramatic in the cut-scenes, wherein the hero walks and moves in that slow, methodical pace usually seen in Matrix-like blockbuster movies. There is nothing quite like pressing the Attack button, taking a puff of my cigarette, and a swig of my beer before having to pick up the controller again once the hero's sword swing has completed. This makes for very leisurely game play and no one can ever accuse me again of wasting my time playing videogames. Indeed, since I started "The Bard's Tale", I have been able to compute my taxes, prepare meals, and even vacuum my office while waiting for a particularly long story scene to finish.

Turning the graphics to their highest setting unlocks what I call the "Screensaver Mode". The characters move so slowly as to be barely visible to the naked eye, yet keeping the screen in turtle-crawl movement for those hours and days I might be away from my machine.

In all, this has made for a refreshing change of pace from the other PC games I have played. In playing daily for the nearly six months I have owned the game, I have completely explored and spoken to every member of the very first town, with hints there are many more locations to come. This will result in literally years of gameplay! In speaking to others who own the game and have advanced much further, I estimate I will finish it sometime before my seven year old daughter reaches junior high school. Now that is getting my money's worth!

Good job, InXile! You have provided me with a game my children may very well have to complete for me someday. That truly is family entertainment!